Death by Boredom

There just can't be anything worse in life than not being able to run and play. Here I lay on my tieker (bamboo woven mat) getting more bored by the minute. The only thing to keep me company are stacks of dirty clothes and my pain. My eyes are now infected and the wound on my leg hurts so much.

Mammie is trying to make my eyes better. My Oma took a few leafs of a red plant, rolled them in her hands then placed them on my eyes. More lying on my tieker and doing nothing. But it does feel very nice on my eyes--cool and it doesn't smell too bad. Maybe the sharp pain in my eyes will go away soon.

Since I can't run around I am suddenly noticing that my head is very itchy. Mammie says I have koetoe ramboet (hair lice). "Stop scratching," she whispers. Easy for her to say. Looks like all the children in our camp have the same problem since I see everyone scratching their heads. Not a pretty sight. All we can do is wash our hair. But that doesn't seem to help much. We still have koetoe.

I also have an awful tummy ache. Most do. My brothers, sisters and I are lucky. Mammie still has a lot of money. So she goes to the fence late at night, always praying that the guards don't see her, and digs a hole. She leaves the money there and her Indonesian friends come and bring her bananas. I have to eat the whole banana with the yellow banana peel. How gross. When I can't manage the peel she scrapes the inside of the peel and makes me eat that. I do it because I don't have to go to the bathroom anymore. Tummy ache gone.

So here I lie, on my tieker which separates me from a dirty cold floor, checking to see if there are holes in the roof. Only three, or are they shadows? Will I ever walk again? Maybe I should sing a song. Even the guards like that. Well, maybe. Boredom is very bad for my soul.

I guess other children are worse off than me, like standing in the hot sun with hands tied behind their backs and no water. Better stop complaining.

Tuhan, Tuhan, Tuhan...
Engkau sungguh baik bagiku
Tuhan, Tuhan, Tuhan...
Engkau sungguh baik bagiku
Tuhan, Tuhan, Tuhan...
Engkau sungguh baik bagiku
Karena Engkau sudah membuat apa yang dunia tidak bisa membuat!

Lord, Lord, Lord,
You are really good to me
Lord, Lord, Lord,
You are really good to me
Lord, Lord, Lord,
You are really good to me
For you've done what the world could not do!
(Song Source:)